I had a small post-birthday celebratory day yesterday. Katie made me a delicious maple cake, and people came over and played Halo and Rock Band (3 and 2, to be precise). I also bought a beginner’s acoustic guitar, then promptly proceeded to snap the first string by tuning it too tightly. Sigh. All in all, a good day.
Since about high school, I’ve always thought that if nothing else, I’d make a good father. I know, pretty arrogant, right? It’s because I love the idea of babies and of children and of being one of very few people that another human being trusts and learns from so completely. Also, I like to think I’m kind and caring and patient and all that generic good stuff.
That is, I thought I’d be a good dad until we got cats. You’re supposed to clean the litter box for cats every day and it’s sometimes hard to believe just how much a cat can excrete. I don’t clean it every day. Perhaps when we first got cats, we did so daily for a few weeks. Now, in Sims terms, I only clean it out when it starts affecting my environment – not, ideally, when it’s affecting our cats’ hygiene.
Translated into baby terms, this means that I’d let a baby sit in a stinky diaper for several days before changing it because the smell actually started to bother me. Now I know what you’re saying: “Babies and cats aren’t the same!” To which I reply: yes! You’re right! Babies are even harder to take care of!
I have no doubt that if and when I have a child, I will love it more than I love our cats. Still, there’s a nagging doubt that perhaps my behavior toward our cats is a harbinger. I can only imagine a scene where we have two kids: a big fat one that licks everything and a small crazy one that sprints around the house for no good reason. And we just sit there, taking pictures of them and chuckling.
Here’s the thing about the cat/kid comparison.
Let’s say, hypothetically, that this is your to-do list:
1. Wash the dishes.
2. Change the oil in the car.
3. Call the guy for an estimate on a new water heater.
4. Order stuff from Amazon.
5. Return e-mails.
If you remember that you didn’t clean the litter box yesterday, then it probably slots in between 4 and 5. If it’s the foulest litter box you’ve ever smelled, it maybe goes in above 4.
Now, consider the following: if you’re a parent, your to-do list probably looks something like this:
1. Make the child sleep.
2. Change the child’s diaper, which includes:
a. Cleaning the child and changing the diaper.
b. Changing the child’s clothes after the diaper leaks a bit.
c. Changing your own clothes after the diaper leaks a lot.
3. Make the child eat.
4. One of the following:
a. Teach the child to crawl/walk/talk.
b. Teach the child to hold still/be quiet.
5. Entertain the child so he or she does not blow up the house.
6. Wash the child’s clothes.
7. Wash the child’s bottles/dishes.
8. Wash your own baby-fluid soaked clothing (see item 2).
9. Weep.
10. Whatever you can fit in from your pre-child to-do list.
In times of duress, the second item on the list can be bumped up to 1, but for the first eighteen months of the child’s life, it will never drop below 2.
So as you can see, cat ownership is in no way shape or form indicative of parenting.
Hope this helps!
Okay, two things. First, that poopy diaper would affect your environment much sooner than a few days after the poop was deposited in the diaper. We’re talking minutes, hours at the most. Second, babies have a way of making their needs known in a way that gets you to respond. Namely, they cry. That, too, would affect your environment much sooner than a stinky litter box.
Now I have no firsthand experience, so this is hypothetical. But I’m just saying that you hypothetically have nothing to worry about.