Today, I put two doorknobs onto doors in our house. One doorknob had been broken on one side (the knob just spun) and the other door was missing a knob entirely. It made me feel pretty handy – the kind of feeling you get after putting together your IKEA furniture multiplied by ten. It also means we have two more functioning doors than we did this morning.

We purchased our new doorknobs from our local TrueValue Hardware store, which is endearing because it’s family-run and a delightful young Asian boy called Katie “ma’am” and asked if he could help us. And help us he did! He knew exactly where the doorknobs were. He also told us that his grandma could help us pick something else if we didn’t find what we needed. It was like eating at a Chinese restaurant, where we knew the owners. Except, instead of food, we got served doorknobs!

Growing up, Katie owned more tools than I did. Her dad built their house, so it kind of makes sense. The only tools I brought to our relationship were a set of tiny screwdrivers that are only useful for computer and eyeglass repair. If I had to build a house, it would have been made out of computer cases and eyeglass frames.

The only tool that we don’t have right now (besides a mysterious missing hammer) is a wrench, which doesn’t seem to phase Katie much. Well, that’s not the only tool we don’t have – just the only “basic” tool, I suppose. We do have a stud finder, which when activated, just points to me. Booyeah!

Get it? Because I’m a stud! Like, a fat piece of wood!

I do wish I had done more carpentry or handy-work when I was younger. I feel ill-prepared for that portion of responsibilities as a homeowner, although my doorknob experience this morning has helped build my confidence a bit. I’m sure that building sets during college also helped.

I need to stop writing these things late at night and while watching TV. It’s very hard to pay attention when people are getting their heads lopped off on Harper’s Island.

“The last thing I need is a deer head in my bathtub!”
With dialogue like that, who needs a wrench?