It's Dai Time

Katie & Scott & Simon & Cecily.

Category: year26 (Page 75 of 92)

I posted an entry each day during my 26th year of life.

Day 69: giggle

April 21, 2009 / / 0 Comments

Why is that I still find childish things so funny?  Does it have, like Klondike bars and Boy Meets World, have to do with remembering what it felt like to giggle at these things the first time around?

Or is the number 69 just always going to be inherently funny because of its sexual innuendo?  Who doesn’t think that farts in mixed company are hilarious?  Unintentional burps in quiet settings, especially places like churches or libraries?  Stupid puns regarding anatomy?  “That’s what she said!”?

I think there’s more to this than just reflections on the innocence of being a child.  I think we find this stuff humorous because it’s a good reminder that we’re all human.  No matter how hard we try to differentiate our senses of humor, there’s something in the base nature of these that still speaks to all of us.

We are raised in a culture where we’re told that crude jokes and bodily outbursts are inappropriate.  But we’re all creatures bred to have sexual desires and we all burp and fart when born.  I think the fact that we all giggle at these seemingly small indiscretions speaks to a quiet, internal, broad revolt against the strict societal standards that we’ve all had to grow up with.

In China, burping is perfectly acceptable when a meal is over, and I’ve heard my grandmother do it many times over the course of a half hour.  I find this hilarious.  Having lived in China their entire lives, most of my extended family does not.  It’s a pity, really.  In exchange for the refreshing freedom of being able to burp after eating with no chance of societal scorn, they’ve lost the shared furtive giggles and knowing looks between friends.

Because here, when someone burps or farts or says something that could be taken as an unintentional sexual statement, we all share a moment.  A moment that says: this is who we are.  And our parents and religious teachings and government agencies and stuffy co-workers may try to cover it up and give it the evil eye, but there’s no escaping it.

We are a nation of burpers and farters and That’s-What-She-Said-ers.  And we should be proud.

Day 68: everything old is new again

April 20, 2009 / / 0 Comments

There are certain things which I enjoyed as a child that I think I now enjoy for as much nostalgic and novelty value as I do for the actual objective enjoyment of the actual object or activity.

A prime example of this: Klondike bars. They’re deceivingly messy and not as delicious as a half-prices generic ice cream sandwich. But if I eat them now, I’m also remembering all the Klondike bars I ate as a kid, and when I first discovered that ice cream novelties were an entire formal portion of the grocery store. And that’s like eating magic.

Another example is the game Capture the Flag. I’m out of shape and it’s an exhausting game with very little definitive action. There’s a lot of feinting, back-and-forth, and – eventually – panting and walking. But, it also turns everyone into a kid again, when winning was all that mattered! Until you lost. Then it was just the fact that you had made that one awesome capture or gotten away from Speedy Mike.

I think one of the broadest examples of this is media. A few months ago, I watched about half the first season of Boy Meets World. I really enjoyed it, but I think mostly because I remember watching it as a child. The show itself isn’t terrific. The dialogue is groan-worthy most of the time and the lesson of each episode is highly predictable. And yet, there’s something special about watching something that you last saw with very different eyes.

It’s not a bad thing. It’s just a different type of appreciation. I think it’s part of the reason that there’s always a generational gap of understanding. The things that we’ll attempt to get our kids interested in are things of dubious quality that we mainly like for sentimental value. Of course they wouldn’t get it!

Except Boy Meets World. That show is timeless.

Day 67: the ikea guide

April 19, 2009 / / 0 Comments

We went to IKEA today. We bought some furniture, then put it together and now, here we are. Going to IKEA isn’t hard, but coming out of there feeling like you won? That’s a bit tougher. Here are a few simple tips that will make you an IKEA hero.

Learn the Map: You don’t have to know where everything is, but know the general paths (almost always a clover-like shape) and the general sequence of rooms. That way, if you need to move quickly, you’ll know where to cut through the center and what loops of the main path you want to hit. Of course, if you’ve got time, walking the full path is a lot of fun.

Use That Little Pencil: Each of those little IKEA papers you use to write down aisle numbers of items you want to pick up in self service is large. The empty list that stares back at you when you pick it up is very long. So, don’t worry about writing down too much. Take notes, write down any piece of furniture that looks interesting, and make sure you get those aisle numbers the first time you go through the store.

Eating at the Cafe: First, do it. The food is a great deal and the meatballs are delicious. How many meatballs should you order? Figure out how many you think you’d eat, and then add 5. Also, if you get a drink, try the lingenberry juice. You can get soda anywhere; there’s no need to get it here.

Labels Out and Checkout Calculations: If you’re taking home a stack of boxes from the self-service area, put them onto your cart with the labels out. It’ll make checking out twice as fast, especially if you get a self-checkout lane. Also, when deciding what lane to go into for check out, look at the numbers of “loose” items that people have. Checking out with a stack of furniture boxes, be they 2 or 10, takes less than a minute. A family with a cart full of knick=knacks, baskets, and small storage solutions will take much longer.

Think Beyond Furniture: IKEA has great deals on furniture, sure. But did you know they also sell cookware, flatware, bed/bathware, and men’s wear? Well, not men’s wear…yet. If you’re looking for a cheap set of forks or a inexpensive wok and have a trip to IKEA planned, add it to your list. More often than not, you’ll find quality goods at a price cheaper than what you’ll find at your local Target or Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

As you become more and more of an IKEA aficionado, you’ll find your own ways to become the best honorary Swede that you can be, but these tips should help you well on your way to being an IKEA hero. And if there’s anything this country needs, it’s more IKEA heroes.

Day 66: if i had a hammer

April 18, 2009 / / 0 Comments

Today, I put two doorknobs onto doors in our house. One doorknob had been broken on one side (the knob just spun) and the other door was missing a knob entirely. It made me feel pretty handy – the kind of feeling you get after putting together your IKEA furniture multiplied by ten. It also means we have two more functioning doors than we did this morning.

We purchased our new doorknobs from our local TrueValue Hardware store, which is endearing because it’s family-run and a delightful young Asian boy called Katie “ma’am” and asked if he could help us. And help us he did! He knew exactly where the doorknobs were. He also told us that his grandma could help us pick something else if we didn’t find what we needed. It was like eating at a Chinese restaurant, where we knew the owners. Except, instead of food, we got served doorknobs!

Growing up, Katie owned more tools than I did. Her dad built their house, so it kind of makes sense. The only tools I brought to our relationship were a set of tiny screwdrivers that are only useful for computer and eyeglass repair. If I had to build a house, it would have been made out of computer cases and eyeglass frames.

The only tool that we don’t have right now (besides a mysterious missing hammer) is a wrench, which doesn’t seem to phase Katie much. Well, that’s not the only tool we don’t have – just the only “basic” tool, I suppose. We do have a stud finder, which when activated, just points to me. Booyeah!

Get it? Because I’m a stud! Like, a fat piece of wood!

I do wish I had done more carpentry or handy-work when I was younger. I feel ill-prepared for that portion of responsibilities as a homeowner, although my doorknob experience this morning has helped build my confidence a bit. I’m sure that building sets during college also helped.

I need to stop writing these things late at night and while watching TV. It’s very hard to pay attention when people are getting their heads lopped off on Harper’s Island.

“The last thing I need is a deer head in my bathtub!”
With dialogue like that, who needs a wrench?

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