In our backyard, there are two trees that grow long-reaching vines, of the Little Shop of Horrors variety. These vines can grow amazingly quickly and can extend up walls, behind tresses, and up into the higher recesses of a larger “real” tree we have out there.
While they provide for some nice greenery in our yard, vines have always wigged me out just a little bit. Maybe it only started after I watched The Ruins a while ago, but I feel like they’re a very dangerous plant.
Vines, unlike most leaves and branches and tree parts, have a thin but sturdy core. Strong enough to ensnare a helpless passerby, string them up, and then perhaps…strangle them like a serpent. Vines grow at a rate that seems unbelievable, taking over a wall within a season.
I’m fairly certain that if there were a nuclear holocaust, vines would be right there with cockroaches in terms of survivability.
They feel like predators, like little green Napoleons, stretching out their fingers for more ground to cover, more area to conquer. More humans to consume.
Anyway, the point is that Katie and I have decided to make this upcoming Saturday a yard work day and one of our primary goals will the culling and largescale removal of a lot of these vines. If you don’t hear from me on Sunday, I may be being digested by the vines, so you should probably come and either cut me out or bring some RoundUp.