Katie & Scott & Simon & Cecily.

Tag: shakespeare

Day 199: wedded

Katie and I went to a wedding today.

I like weddings. Everyone looks great and everyone goes home happy (and, possibly, a little frisky).

It was one of Katie’s high school friends, who looked beautiful, and the wedding was outdoors and relatively short. The reception was a brunch and there were many entertaining toasts.

It was also a chance for Katie to catch up with some other high school friends who she hadn’t seen in a while, while we awkward male partners supported their conversation as much as we were able.

Most of all, though, the bride and groom were beaming throughout the morning and through brunch. Weddings are like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: it’s love, idealized. It’s a perfect day, the perfect moment between two people that can never be taken away, regardless of future divorces or poisons or potions that make you appear dead.

It’s been a good, if tiring day.

Day 76: what the beginning of romeo and juliet might look like if written by a high school student

The Prologue walks out.  He’s dressed different from the other actors.  He wears a robe or toga or something.

PROLOGUE: In the town of Verona, there are two families that don’t like each other.  Anyway, two lovers kill themselves and by doing so, they teach an important lesson to their parents.  And…that’s what this play is about.  If you pay attention, we think you’ll like it!

The Prologue leaves and two petty thugs, Sam and Greg enter.  They’re blinged out.

SAM: I’m not gonna be a gofer!

GREG: No, because then you’d have to live underground.

SAM: Oh, snaaaaaap.

GREG: The only thing I hate more than living underground is that damn Montie Gang!

SAM: Damn straight.  I’d totally mess ‘em up if we came across any of them.

GREG: Well, they ain’t ever seen a gun this big

Greg draws a large revolver and shows it off.

SAM: That’s what she said!

GREG: Oh, snaaaaaaap.  Oh, snap.  Seriously, here come some Monties.

SAM: Let’s flip ‘em off as we go by, see if they take it.

Abe and Caesar enter.  They’re blinged out too, but in a different color.  Like red, instead of black or something.  As they pass, Sam flips them the bird.

ABE: Did you just flip me off?

SAM: I extended my middle finger.

ABE: Did you extend it at me?

GREG: Don’t do it, dude!

SAM: Uh, no.  I am not flipping you off, but I am flipping it.  Just, in general.  For practice.

GREG: You wanna go?

ABE: No, I don’t wanna go.

SAM: ‘Cause if you do, I’ll all about it.  I’m as good for it as you are.

ABE: Not better?

GREG: Dude, say better!  Our gang leader is coming!

SAM: Yeah, better!

ABE: You lying mofo!

GREG: Bring it on!

They start to draw their guns and run behind cover.  Oh yeah – there should be cover here.  Some benches or bus stops or something.  Ben enters.

BEN: Hey guys, what’s going on – Oh, snaaaaaap.

Day 57: shakespearean comedies rewritten as tweets

A Midsummer Night’s Dream
fairies are fighting and four young horndogs are wandering around the forest. oh, and there’s a bad actor who turns into an ass!

Much Ado About Nothing
claudio wants hero so don pedro helps, but the real story is about benedick and beatrice and how they hate each other, but not really.

Taming of the Shrew
this got remade into 10 Things I Hate About You, so just watch that. except the play within a play part, which isn’t in the movie.

The Tempest
i don’t remember too much about this play, except that it wasn’t all that funny and had magic in it. and a crazy guy named Caliban.

Twelfth Night
shipwreck! girl dresses as guy for lovelorn king but ends up falling for him. her undead twin brother arrives. mass confusion and weddings.

The Merchant of Venice
unfunny courtroom drama concerning jewish people and pounds of meat. there’s cross-dressing in this one as well.

Pericles
did you even know shakespeare wrote this? all i know is that, from the title, pericles is the prince of tyre.

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