I’m not sure if Katie and I are getting each other Christmas gifts this year. In fact, since we’ve been married and merged our financial lives together, gifts in general are sometimes a bit silly.
It’s different with family members. We don’t see our parents or siblings all that often and buying a gift for them or getting a gift from them during the holidays is a good feeling, especially if we manage to pick something that they genuinely end up loving and using in the upcoming year.
But for each other? Our money all comes out of the same bank account and, most of the time, if we need something, we’ll buy it then and there (or wait for a specific time when we think we can get a deal on it). So, all holiday-timed gifts would be things that we as a household don’t need but would rather be in the category of items that we would probably not honestly buy ourselves given the choice. Which makes it all feel a little…unnecessary.
A few years ago, we did something quite fun. Katie and I both went into Target a few weeks before Christmas and set ourselves a limit of $20 to buy the other as many gifts as we wanted. It turned out to be quite fun. We managed to retain the element of surprise; we checked out in different lanes and wrapped our presents before the other person could see them. We also both knew that neither of us had spent over $20, which was a very reasonable amount to spend on frivolities.
It’s a phrase that we’ve all heard through our years of gift giving and receiving, but it seems to become extra true once you truly share everything: it’s the thought that counts. In fact, at a certain point, the thought is the only thing that really counts at all. The rest of it? It’s just buying ourselves stuff.